Title: Tips for Online Dating
Online dating has exploded into a 1.9 billion dollar industry. Forty million singles in the US have tried it and 1 in 5 relationships actually begin online these days. But just like with traditional dating, many people remain clueless to the nuances, as to what will make them successful or not and what they should and shouldn’t be doing.
Use some of these tips to improve your online dating experience, to get your messages read and to have successful dates.
Let’s start with your profile:
Photos:
When it comes to photos, you should have a photo that clearly shows your face. Do not have a photo of you from far away or mixed in with a lot of people. Also, please avoid any tacky camera phone photos, pictures of you in the mirror and photos of you naked in any way. No one is impressed.
Also, if you’re able to add additional photos, throw in some of just you and some of you doing your favorite hobbies or out having fun. It’s nice to see what someone might look like when you’re out with them. Want more photo help, find it here.
Info:
Despite the fact that 80% of people lie about their age, height and weight, don’t. Stand out, be original and tell the truth. Your potential dates are going to find out that you lied, so just be honest from the start.
Avoid putting overly personal info in your profile, like you were raped or suffer from intense depression. While these may make you who you are, it might initially be very off putting. Save these things for people you meet in person.
Do not spell out your entire sexual history in the questionnaires. It’s tacky. People who want to sleep with you don’t want to envision all those who have before them.
Messages:
Messages are key. This is the most important thing you will do when it comes to online dating. Your message is like your cover letter, if it sucks no one is going to look at your profile or reach back out to you. With that said, try to keep the first message fairly short.
Use proper grammar, spelling and punctuation. Abbreviated words like “ur” “b” and commonly misspelled words like “whad” “iz” will not make you appear intelligent or too busy to fully spell out words. You will look ignorant and lazy. Take time to craft your message into something intelligent and coherent.
Do not use the thesaurus to replace every word so you sound smart. It’s obvious.
Use the formula: Compliment, something you have in common, reveal and question to send a message. Compliment them on something in their profile, not their appearance. Then mention something you have in common. Reveal something about yourself and then end with a question. Ending in a question gives them a reason to respond.
Avoid saying creepy, overly sexual things to people. Girls don’t want to know that you would like to have sex with them before they know you. Don’t send it if it sounds like something that would get you slapped in public.
And a side note on messages: Women get 10X more messages than men, so if you’re messaging a woman, don’t take it personally if she doesn’t respond. However, the same goes for messaging men as well. You can’t let it affect you like that or you’ll get burned out quickly. Also, don’t message people to ask why they aren’t responding to you.
Women–you should also make a practice of sending more initial messages. Since men receive a lot less messages than women, it will behoove you to reach out to them.
Dating:
If you’ve gotten a potential date to respond to you, move it offline after a few emails. Endless emails go no where and frustrate the other person. So ask them out, don’t wait for them to ask.
When asking a person out, suggest a date place/activity. Be courteous and plan it out for them, but pick open, public places to let them know they are safe.
Drive separately and don’t bring gifts. Flowers are a nice gesture, but almost seem disingenuous. One time a guy brought me Adam & Eve Lingerie and while it was nice lingerie, it was super creepy. Leave that for dates far into the future.
Take notice and end the date gracefully if you or both of you aren’t feeling it. Don’t lie and say you’ll call if you’re not going to.
Follow up offline if you actually see a connection. Call and ask for another date. Emailing them allows them to ignore you.
If you’re going on dates with multiple people, try to keep it to 2-3 dates a week, otherwise you will get burned out fairly quickly.
Try to incorporate some of these tips and see what happens. You never know, maybe you’ll get a date for tonight! If your current method isn’t working, just keep changing things and see what works for you. Best of luck.